Here I am the crossroad of my life. I've finally arrived. I knew this moment was coming, but never thought this moment would come so soon. I have feared this moment my whole life. Approaching the crossroad I feel uneasy, uncertain, uncomfortable and unworthy. I'm not prepared for this moment. I don't believe I deserve to be here . . . isn't this venture premature? My hands begin to clam, my brow begins to bead and my stomach becomes its own epitome. My life appears behind me urging me forward, beckoning me to continue as if they know something I don't.

As I approach, I see a sign with directions. Vague as they may be, they give me hints, clues and allusions to my future. This sign has been carved and engraved, as if somebody had been here prior to me and predicted my arrival. The sign almost mocks me by having arrows point in either direction.

The arrow pointing left describes my nearby history which lay behind me in a hoard on a horizontal horizon. The sign describes a life of familiarity and redundancy. It points to a horizon filled with simplicity and freedom, open and abundant. Flowers and trees frame the golden lit path. The sun cascades rays and warmth upon the path to my left. The road is flat and open. I see a yellow brick road with vine wrapped hand rails to assist my journey. The road to the left beckons me with gestures of acceptance, knowledge and trust. The road is clear, predictable and pure. I hear cheers and gestures, glee and laughter welcoming my arrival from the left, as if the decision has already been made; Streamers, balloons and celebration, fireworks and welcome signs. Smiling faces accept my presence and ascend upon my soul. Simplicity and blue skies have already accepted my history. I see friends who have ventured this road waving and smiling as I approach. Bright, promising and vibrant.

I gaze to my right. The sign describes a life of uncertainty. It points to an incline, jaded and steep, granite and wet. Bluffs align the mountainside, steep and sharp; A warning that no mistake is to be made. The mountain is ridged and high. I see warning signs and "do not enter" signs from those who have ventured upon these bluffs before me. The road to the right taunts me with denial, adversity and privation. The road is cloudy, dark and unstable. I hear hallow cries and insincere devotion; Rocks, caverns, crows and darkness. Gargoyle hisses and ghost whispers plead with me to turn away. Fog and winter branches blind my perspective. I see obscurity. I hear hollow echoes from caves of confusion a thousand paces before me. I hear the rustles of branches and chirps of crickets as I approach. Fire flies flicker beyond the distance but die in illumination too quickly to grasp an outline of the path. I see footprints imprinted in time pacing away the road to the right which remains empty, lifeless and desolate.

Both roads entice my soul for polarized reasons. Both directions play out in my head like the lyrics of a familiar song. This is my moment of reckoning. The man I will become depends on this decision. The path to the left appears vivid and luminescent; radiant and content. However my mind questions the obvious. The path to the left seems too easy. It seems too simple, seems too effortless. The road to the left lacks pain, mystery and challenge. There is no struggle or absolution – the very emotions that brought me here to the crossroads – The very factors that arouse the essence of our soul - The elements that aid in the maturation of our consciousness. The road to the left is clever and suspicious. However the road to the right is daunting. It leaves everything to hope and imagination, prayers and dreams. This road requires strength of character, motivation, confidence and resolve – to be the very person we aspire to be. I gaze back and forth, knowing this decision will become me. I stare for hours on end and ponder the consequences and opportunities in each direction knowing I could never return to where I am now. My mind begins to taunt me with rational and science, persuading me to the left however my heart and soul intervene with instinct and moral pushing me to the right.

I know you have been to this very crossroad. I yield to my own selfish desires and begin to wonder which road you chose. Which road would you want me to chose? Will you be lost from me forever? Will there be another crossroad in the future? Will I get lost? You are my map and you are my purpose. To lose you is to lose myself.

My heart strikes my chest with lack of patience to tell me to accept my first instinct. I turn to the right and begin to step to the path to the right. Grunts and moans ridicule me. Snickers and sneers are felt as I continue closer to the path to the right. With one deep breath I cross the plain into the unknown.

Darkness. I look for an object or a shape to gaze upon to adjust my eyes. Staring into the darkness, I see a figure, a silhouette. The profile resembles a person, the outline of a figure. My body becomes numb from fear. I cautiously step forward. I have my hands forward to feel for obstructions. As my eyes amend and I approach the figure, I gasp and become weak. I drop to my knees and my heart beats rapidly as I try to muster a breath from my chest. I'm no longer lost.

The darkness, the mystery, the uncertainty is now promising and invited. The rain has subsided and the sun shines. The mountain crumbles, the trees bloom and the grass grows. Birds flock and sing in the branches above. The clouds yield to the eternal reach of the sky. The path emerges from the fog. Life has begun. I have found my gold brick road. I have found my salvation. I have found my peace. I have found my resolution.

I have found you.

"You are found when you have lost yourself in another."